Trashed (with an almost happy ending)

Hello!

Firstly, I agree with AV. Most of your rhyming is forced. Other than that I think that the idea of the poem is quite cliche but that that can easily be changed. You use a lot of "pretty" language but in the end you don't really have any imagery.

As I sit here all alone
inside my head,
I remember you upon your throne,
and it fills my heart with dread

**There should be a period after "dread". The rhyming is way off here. You should take the "As" out of the first line. In the second line make it longer...maybe "Thoughts inside my head". But that's just a suggestion that happens to work. The third line could be, "Of you upon your throne." Fourth line: "My heard deludes in dread". Again, just suggestions. The rhyme really works this way. The whole thing is to make your meaning stronger in fewer words. Don't let your want to rhyme overrule your want to make a good and meaningful poem.

You alone robbed me of my heart.
You stole from me my soul.
You ravaged me, only to depart
and leave me with no control.

**First line: You should switch "you" and "alone". Also, the repetition of the word heart just makes it less meaningful. You should use a different word there maybe that either resembles a heart...or is just something new. Also...just in all of you lines. You should stop using "You." and start them with something different.

I fear I loved you at a time,
I fear I failed myself then, too.
You gave me what I thought sublime,
and hence bid my sanity adieu.

**Why is there fear that the narrator loved them at one point? Something that I noticed about this poem is that you're telling us about all of these feelings...but I have no clue why the narrator is feeling these things. What did this other person do to bring on these feelings? I think, just to make this less personal so that other readers can relate, you should change the "you"s and rewrite this poem as if you were telling us that she/he did these things. Then you'll have a better view of what's going on yourself and you'll have to explain what exactly it was. Catch my drift?

You swept through my life
like a plague, a disease.
Decimating me with strife
and leaving me with shaking knees.

**I didn't even realize that this had a rhyme until I read it the third time. The last line is too long. And I saw comparison! "you swept through my life like a plague, a disease." You need more of that.

So after countless painful nights
struggling with inner demons over you,
I’ve climbed to new heights.
These heights have been waiting, and I’ve been long overdue.

**This last line is like...two of your regular lines. The ending wasn't as effective as I hoped it would be, but that's because of things that I've mentioned before.

Overall, good concept, but you need more meat.
PM me if you have any questions or need help with anything!
~Rieda

I liked it, I kind of don't get the message/point but who says it has to have one or be clear, this is your writing. I love that you used the word adieu..which i an't spell and am too lazy to scrool up and look at for spelling...yes good job...=]

It seems like your rhyming is forced, and when people tend to force their rhymes, it hinders their ability to really let loose and usually upsets the flow more than helps it.
I think you should take this same idea and get rid of all the rhymes. Completely re-write it and let yourself flow better. Try and use the five senses, and similes and metaphors are always a fun thing to work with. I feel you could use more of those since you only used one.
Overall, this is a pretty overused topic for poetry, but there's still some originalness to be found here.
I like the idea of the person on the throne. That was your best line. Talk about what the person looked like on the throne, what they resembled sitting on that throne. You could take that image and run with through the whole poem.
It's like you're saying that person was above you and ruled you. Try and run with that and differentiate between where you are and where they are. Are you a peasant? The jester? A servant? I think you could work with just that one image.